ZERO TOLERANCE by Rahimat Suleiman

FGM has no health benefit, Traditional women in charge of the cut, use unsterilized blades, knives and generally any sharp object, victims are given no form of anesthetic causing them severe pain and punishment. This leads to a series of complications such as severe pain, excessive bleeding, infections, sepsis, death, psychological consequences, urinary tract infection, menstrual problems, painful sexual intercourse, poor quality of sexual life, infertility, chronic pain, infections like cysts, abscesses, pelvic infections, reproductive tract infections and so on.

women are sentenced to lifetime pain in the name of tradition. The time is now to say NO to FGM, and all forms of gender-based violence.

ZERO TOLERANCE DAY, #ENDFGM #HUMANRIGHTVIOLATION by Rahimat Suleiman

I remember watching a documentary years ago with a friend on FGM. As we watched I couldn’t help but comment on the horrific and disgusting sight of the pictures, she looked at me for a while then she said she is also a victim. I was speechless for a minute or two as I gazed at her with a feeling of pity. According to her, she was warned never to discuss the pains because it is a form of cowardice and a disgrace to her family. She also said it was believed this will keep her legs closed till marriage. Female genital mutilation (FGM) is a cultural rather than a religious practice, and its origin is unknown. However, its practitioners believe the procedure enhances the girl’s health, hygiene, chastity, fertility and marriage prospects.

Social protection, Kaduna state by Rahimat Suleiman

it is important to talk about social protection in Kaduna state. It fair to say Kaduna state has been on the front line fighting against Gender-based violence. 2020 saw an amazing involvement of the Government to end all forms of violence

Social protection in Kaduna State
Are the impacts made? – the state has a ministry known as Human Services and Social Development, Hafsat M Baba is the head and commissioner of the ministry. The state has also enacted the VAPP law as an important instrument that has been developed to address gender issues.
*The case of Miss Jennifer Ayuba who was allegedly gang-Narayi on the 27th of April 2020 was taken to court on the 11th of May 2020, which led to the arrest of 2 out of the 5 accused. The court after cognizance adjourned the case to the 10th of June, 2020. The Governor of the state Mallam Nasir Elrufai promised to see to the arrest of the remaining 3suspects, as he stressed that rape is a crime according to various sections of the Kaduna state penal code.
* On the 23rd of March 2020, Idris Musa was sentenced to life imprisonment for the rape, attempted rape and sexual assault of 3 minors, who are his nieces.
* The Ministry handled the case of domestic violence which according to the abuse has been going on for over 15years. The abuser battered his wife and broke her head. The ministry with support from Civil Defence saw the detention of the abuser on the 29th of February 2020.
* The case of a customs officer who allegedly rapes his two daughters repeatedly was handled by the ministry. The suspect has been remanded in correctional custody while he awaits trial.
* The case of Mr. Samuel Ejikeme, a school proprietor, who was accused of raping a 9years old pupil, was addressed by the commissioner who also advised parents to withdraw their wards from the school (Liberation College Trikania, Kaduna). The governor of the state also called on the Kaduna Quality Assurance Authority to immediately withdraw the school’s license and close it down. This followed with his arrest.
* Almajirais who were recently brought to the state by the Kano state government due to the covid-19 pandemic have seen a rapid transformation. Over 60 almajirai were treated, discharged and taken to reunite with their families. The state is currently working on the abolishment of the almajiri system.

What is lacking ?: The issue of forceful marriages to underage girls has not been given proper attention in the state, the cases of domestic violence which almost every day is being overlooked; women being the targets for electoral violence have resulted to low participation of women in election and politics in general. There is a stigma attached to women in politics that make participation unattractive, this pattern of inequality is a problem to progress because it kills the opportunity of more than half of its population.
It is important to note that religion and cultural belief play a major role in the state which for some reasons is not favourable to women. Both Islam and Christianity preach about the superiority of a man. Crimes are being committed under the disguise of submission in the bible and obedience in the Quran. Islam state that after obedience to God and the prophets, the next person to obey is your husband and any woman who fails to do so is a sinner. According to Hon. Comfort Amwe (Sanga constituency Kaduna state) in a multi-stakeholders accountability meeting on VAPP law and GESI policy on 30th of January 2020 ‘’After my last election, I am afraid for women who choose to join politics’’ she also complained about the slow implementation of policies related to gender after being passed.

Which vulnerable groups are left behind in social protection programmes run by the state? : Mental retarded individuals, teenagers and physically challenged individuals

The impact of Covid19 on Sexual and Reproductive Health by Rahimat Suleuman

So I made research some months ago on ” IMPACT ASSESSMENT ON COVID-19, KADUNA STATE”

In March 2020 the World Health Organization declared Covid-19 a pandemic, the Covid-19 pandemic caught Nigeria off guard and there was little or no preparation put in place for it. Taking precautionary measure President Mohammadu Buhari with the help of the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control issued a set of measure to curb the spread of the virus which include the closure of schools, religious gathering, directive banning of all flight in and out of the country, citizens were also placed under compulsory lockdown except for essential workers and services.

On 23rd March 2020, the Kaduna state government imposed a compulsory lockdown on the state to help reduce the spread of the virus. This harmed Sexual and Reproductive Health services and the Kaduna health service at large.

  • The burden of Covid-19 on the already struggling health system has led to the fall back of so many SRH service, the health care has an increased burden. It is difficult for the health care system to balance between attending to Covid-19 cases and other medical cases; this limited so many aspects of medical services. People who came to health care facilities are not all attended to because health workers focus more on emergency cases. People who need regular drug refills such as antiretroviral for HIV/AIDS patients, Contraceptives, antenatal medications, antidiuretic drugs and antibiotics for the treatment of STDs etc. are not easily accessible.
  • The attention of the health system is now moved towards Covid-19. According to NAN, the Covid-19 pandemic created a lot of gaps in the performance of other health interventions in Kaduna state. The Kaduna state government had particularly slashed its health budget as a response to the Covid-19 pandemic leaving other health sectors such as nutrition and SRH with little or no funding.
  • The restriction and state lockdown made it difficult for pregnant women to attend ]their normal antenatal care and PNC, which most likely lead to complications. In a nutshell, there are increased difficulties in accessing SRH services due to the increase and burden on the health care system. Pregnant women of Zaria local government complained of irregular antenatal sessions due to the pandemic, this is a growing fear among pregnant women. Fatima Musa a pregnant woman from Zaria reported how that she is scared of her pregnancy especially as it grows closer to the third trimester, she said often a fever could make her panic and wonder about the movement of her baby. While others lamented that they are afraid of going to the hospital so as not to come in contact with Covid-19 patients.
  • There is a decrease in the number of health workers which makes access to SRH services difficult. According to the Director of Primary Health Care Development Agency Dr. Illiyasu Neyu while speaking to the Kaduna state Covid-19 Taskforce media no fewer than 144 health workers had tested positive for Covid-19 in Kaduna state. The inadequate welfare packages including hazard allowances provision of PPE among other essential need is a critical concern which is forcing health workers to seek safer and better alternatives like staying at home. On 22nd May 2020 health workers began a 7 days warning strike, the strike was as a result of the 25% salary cut from April and May salaries and the lack of adequate PPE. It was reported that a pregnant woman in labour was brought from Ungwan/Muazu, Kaduna metropolis; she was ignored by health workers and also asked to leave the hospital.
  • Amidst the ban on all means of transportation cases of child and maternal mortality are on the rise as people struggle to access health services, especially for those in rural communities.
  • Most medical humanitarian organization that offers basic primary health care services and private clinics are closed especially during the compulsory lockdown. A lot of humanitarian actors withdrew their services due to the outbreak.
  • During the compulsory lockdown, most families were forced to stay together, daily activities were stopped by couples, this increased the number of unplanned pregnancies especially those that their family planning methods involve the use of condoms experienced a shortage of condoms due to the closure of condom manufacturing companies and vendors. Increased cases of STDs are recorded. In general, there is a shortage of SRH supplies. This also resulted in unsafe abortion which was done by women in the comfort of their homes.
  • There is an increase in Gender-based violence cases in Kaduna state, especially in the aspect of rape, sexual assault and physical violence. The Kaduna State Ministry of Human Service and Social Development in recent times has reported a series of Gender-based violence, especially in rape cases. These victims find it difficult to access Clinical Management of Rape Survivors such as Psycho-socio support and contraceptives. Gender-based violence survivors suffer a range of serious physical and mental health consequences that require urgent health responses.

A journey to healing and finding purpose by Rahimat Suleiman

The word pain brings a huge flashing neon sign in my brain. It is almost a year since that fateful day, the day my husband left with a written note under the radio “I am sorry but I can’t do this anymore” just a sentence that put an end to it all. I went straight to the wardrobe to confirm if it was just a bad joke, his pieces of stuff are all gone aside from his old jacket which I gave him during our courtship, I searched the pocket thoroughly if I could see written notes of an apology but I got the shock of my life, an antiretroviral medication in his pocket, “no Bayo is not positive” I said but I couldn’t explain why he kept such. I Began to Shiva, it was an unresolved battle between feeling nothing and everything at once. I dialled his number but it wasn’t connecting, I decided to put a call through to my friend who is also a medical doctor. She advised I come for a test as soon as possible, so many thoughts almost suffocated me, so many memories cross the barrier of my brain, I shut my eyes closed and took a breathe until I regained consciousness with reality, the possibility of being positive and the feeling of being used and dumped by my husband. My friend came later that day, she took me to her clinic to conduct a test. Everything around me Fade Into blatant blurred vision, the last silence of my mind grappled with fear as I await the test results. She moved closer to me, held my hands “it is positive but you can still live a normal life” she said. My mind skipped as clouds of morose takes over me. I felt like running on fumes ready to explode. The reality of my status is glaring, so big, so alarming. what exactly is my crime? The memories rushed back with intensity trying to remind me how naive I was. All the sacrifices I made for Bayo. Life is an ugly formless clump of mistakes and pains. So many times I tried committing suicide but I later realized that HIV can only break my body but not my soul. I have to support my body to heal, In life, you either be a victim or accept the responsibility for yourself, I decided to let go, I forgave Bayo, it was really hard but I did, I couldn’t continue to add cut to my wound by allowing hate and unforgiveness. I was happy I did. I need to find purpose and to do so I needed to move away from my past.

Retrospective review on International Day of Girl Child by Rahimat Suleiman

International Day of Girl Child

The International Day of Girl Child is marked on 11th October every year which started in 2012; this year was themed ‘My voice, our equal future. It also significantly marked 25 years of the adoption of the 1995 Beijing Declaration and platform for action, which is one of the most detailed policy agendas against gender inequality. Annually, UNICEF launches campaigns with girls to amplify their voices and stand up for their rights. This yearly observance helps create more awareness of gender inequalities around the world. Every child has a right to grow up without any form of discrimination; they have the right to protection from any form of violence and abuse.
This year’s celebration saw low-key activities due to the devasting effects of the COVID-19 pandemic which disproportionately affected women and girls all around the world. In Nigeria, events planned out to mark the celebration were put on hold due to a peaceful protest in major states of the country. The protest which is termed the #EndSARS was triggered by alleged extrajudicial killings, unlawful detention, rape, high-handedness, extortion and assault by the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS), an arm of the Nigerian Police Force, on innocent Nigerians. Protesters called for the disbandment of this Police unit and the prosecution of faulting officers and total reform of the entire Police force. Although the International Day for Girl Child wasn’t fully celebrated in Nigeria, the month of October marked a new phase in Nigeria where young men and women stood together against police brutality, corruption, bad governance, insecurity, banditry, rape, extrajudicial killings and other forms of human rights violation and fight for a better and safe Nigeria for all. Just like the 2020 theme for International Day of Girl Child ‘’my voice, our equal future’’ the protest projected for a better future where lives for all are respected and protected.
The COVID-19 pandemic has also directly affected a large population of young girls; the closure of schools has increased girls’ vulnerability to physical and sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, child marriage and other forms of gender inequality/discrimination. Millions of girls are not certain of returning to school this year adding to a large population of girls who are already out of school. The restrictions imposed also limited access to essential health services including abortion.
According to the United Nations, there are 7.8 billion people who populate the world and 1.1 billion are girls. Sadly, many girls around the world are systematically denied their rights due to societal practices that have always placed girls at a disadvantage. Gender inequality is a century-old tradition that is still in practice in modern times. Patriarchal norms have always placed the girl child as inferior to a boy child. Girls have been subjected to domestic violence, female genital mutilation, child marriage, breast ironing, sexual abuse, dowry death, lack of proper education, lack of menstrual hygiene and access to sexual and reproductive health services; all these take place without consideration of the choice and right of the girl.
In recent years, we have seen the fantastic bravery and resilience of girls as active change-makers in society and there have been rising calls for national policies to end all forms of violence and discrimination against the girl child. The girl child has the potential to grow up to make positive changes in her society if she is well equipped. There should be social, economic and political equality between sexes and the creation of a world with equal opportunities.
Each time a girl child stands up for herself, she stands up for all girls.

How to heal from a breakup by Rahimat Suleiman

How to heal from a breakup

The term is used to describe the end or termination of an intimate relationship. The common lingo use is “dump”. “He dumped me”, “she dumped me”. We’ve seen different types.

  • Usually, the person with an upper hand in the relationship summons the courage to call it to quit.

“This person is less heartbroken, he or she is looking for a reason to walk away, we call them the users and time wasters.
they are usually the unserious ones and the time-wasters”

  • In rare cases very occasionally the frail one ends the relationship.

“The frail one is very emotional, has invested so much in the relationship, he or she has given the best but have been trembled upon. They have been lied to, cheated on and abused. This type of breakup is very sad but encouraged you to get back your sanity.
The frail ones take a long time in healing. This usually leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, trust issues and in the worst-case scenario suicidal thoughts.

  • Then we have the matured breakup, my favourite lol

“This breakup involves the consent of two parties, They seat to agree on the next move since the relationship is not working anymore. This relationship
is mostly caused by the following:
sharing different believe, the influence of parent, falling out of love, career, distance etc. this type of breakup leave room for reconciliation and friendship.
How do we handle a breakup?
We all have different ways we react to pains, stress and disappointments.
“Some people prefer crying, drinking, listening to music, hanging out with friends, watching movies, while others
prefer silence and being alone.
I will like to talk about the violent ones
These sets are very dangerous, they try to act like they are happier being alone, they try to act strong yet they become the nuisance, then the result to venting, stalking you physically and on all social media platforms, they try hard to tarnish your image and pull you down. I have a friend who left her man in 2017 because of his insecurities and trust issues, although he loved her sometimes love is just not enough. After the breakup, my friend moved on with her life and became more cheerful. The guy on the other hand wasn’t pleased with the breakup, he went on social media uploaded her picture with a horrible caption, he didn’t just stop there, he made it a thing of joy to always upload horrific write up about her, he told anybody who cares to listen lies about her and of course some would always believe. She had no choice than cutting off with so many people who might be a link between both of them, she also blocked him on all social media platforms and blacklisted his number. Did this help? No! He sent a series of text messages with unknown numbers threatening and laying curses. He came back, apologized and said they should be friends. But did the friendship work? Hell no he was filled with hate and couldn’t even pretend to be a friend, so they became great enemies. It is so funny how one minute people are lovers and best friends and the next minute, enemies. A relationship is never a do-or-die affair, so we should always cultivate the habit of moving on and letting it go. Should a breakup turn you guys into enemies? I have no answer to this, knowing fully well friendship is not a thing of force but then never try to hurt the other party because things didn’t go your way.
How do we heal from a terrible breakup?

  1. –The first step into healing after a terrible breakup is forgiveness, forgiving your ex, accept the fact that some things are not just meant to be. Feel some kindness towards your ex by remembering all the good times you both spent together.
  2. Secondly, understand that it is never your fault and you deserve better and you will get someone better.
  3. Change your environment and everything that gives you bad memories of the relationship which includes gifts from your ex, you should delete your ex pictures and text messages if that makes you uncomfortable. Changing your environment doesn’t mean moving to a different city, you can change your hangout spot, your coffee joint, your usual route etc. so as not to always see your ex.
  4. Make new friends, you need to surround yourself with your loved ones.
  5. Listen to good music and watch exciting movies.
  6. Work more on yourself, take care of your body, hit the gym, go for a medical checkup, go to the spa, go shopping, vacation, eat some pizza lol, be happy and dress more attractive.
  7. Learn a new skill/ develop your passion, It’s advisable to turn your pains into something meaningful, you can write a story about yourself, paint, make sculptures, photography, fashion, sing …
  8. Identify the difference between grief and depression, there is a thin line between grief and depression. Grief is expected after a breakup but when an individual becomes bitter, sad and unexciting then depression is setting in. You must look for help, I repeat look for help as quick as possible, go for counselling, surround yourself with loved ones and tell them your worries.
  9. Lastly get closer to God, he alone brings inner peace and understands this: what is yours will never miss you.

There is always hope no matter the situation, you are an overcomer and you will always overcome if only you are willing and ready to.

No to Rape by Rahimat Suleiman

Rape is a very sensitive issue and shouldn’t be handled with frivolity because having your innocence stripped from you is scary. So now what do we do when a victim voices out? a victim who tears up pages of the past to unveil her/his scare, victims who fight inner battles of depression, victims who fight the feeling of shame and low self-esteem, victims filled with hate against themselves and humanity! Tell me why do we go about bashing them, like it’s their fault, I tell you this, a rape victim never had an option because “no” was never an option, it is either ‘’yes’’ or ‘’ yes’’.
What about incest rape, the painful part of this rape case is that the one who is supposed to protect and keep the child safe from hurt is the same person brutally molesting, violating and stealing the sweet virtues of the child. Such wickedness happens often but it is rarely spoken about by victims due to the fear and shame associated with such confession. Now, who can a child trust? When their trust is being betrayed by their parent, siblings or close relative.
Rape in general is an evil that should not be tolerated by society. Victims should be encouraged to speak out, tell their stories and get the help and justice they deserve. Victims should be loved and cared for, they should be constantly reminded that the painful incident doesn’t define who they are.
As a popular saying goes “to cure a disease you must treat its root. Rape has a lot of implications for the victim and I will talk a little about abortion, our society is against abortion, but you wouldn’t blame or judge a rape victim who opts for such as a way of healing and cleansing herself from all which was deposited in her by the rapist. Unsafe Abortions have claimed the lives of so many young girls who are only trying to survive. To reduce/stop the rate of unsafe abortion in a society where abortion is legally restricted, I think the issue of rape must be tackled.
And we should always remember that we make up the society and in every comment, we make when a sensitive topic like rape is being discussed we either help victims speak up or promote rapists to continue the act, whichever we choose to do we shouldn’t forget we have children, sisters friends, wives, brothers and ourselves.

Depression by Rahimat Suleiman

They say let’s fight Depression! You can always talk to me and I’m like isn’t that your black Maybach s650 parked outside? You smell nice, let me guess Chanel grand extract right? Oh my Lord those shoes, this must be Cinderella slipper, wow! And it goes perfectly with the shinning Chanel diamond forever handbag, isn’t that Rado wristwatch? My point exactly: It’s not about telling people to talk to you but how well you can listen to them without rubbing your success all over their faces.

  • Can you listen to your friend lamenting about her failed marriage without you telling her how perfect yours is?
  • Can you listen to a colleague of yours who just lost her job without you telling her about your promotion?
  • He said he mortgages his house and you are telling him about your million-dollar Grant?
  • He said he just got swindled and you are here boasting about your smartness?

DO WE HELP THOSE WHO CONFIDE IN US OR DO WE AGGRAVATE THEIR SUFFERINGS?

And here comes the DEMERS, The ones with misleading wigs, robes and sashes, judging your life, your mistake and your inadequacy. They look at you with skepticism in their eyes, thinking maybe it’s all your fault. To the ultimate question:

  • HOW DO WE HELP THE DEPRESSED?