How to heal from a breakup

https://rahimabookies.how to heal from breakup.comThe term is used to describe the end or termination of an intimate relationship. The common lingo use is “dump”. “He dumped me”, “she dumped me”. We’ve seen different type.

  • Usually the person with upper hand in the relationship summons the courage to call it quit.

This person is less heart broken, he or she is looking for a reason to walk away, we call them the users and time wasters.
they are usually the unserious ones and the time wasters”

  • In rare cases in fact very occasionally the frail one ends the relationship.

The frail one is very emotional, has invested so much in the relationship, he or she has given the best but have been trembled upon. They have been lied to,cheated on and abused. This type of breakup is very sad but encouraged in order to get back your sanity.
The frail ones take longer time in healing. This usually lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, trust issues and in worst case scenario suicidalthought.

  • Then we have the matured breakup, my favorite lol

This breakup involves the consent of two parties, They seat to agree on the next move since the relationship is not working anymore. This relationship
is mostly caused by the following:
sharing different believe, influence of parent, falling out of love, career, distance etc. this type of breakup leave room for reconciliation and friendship.
How do we handle breakup?
We all have different ways we react to pains, stress and disappointments.
Some people prefer crying, drinking, listening to music, hanging out with friends, watching movies, while others
prefer silence and being alone.
I will like to talk about the violence ones
These set are very dangerous, they try to act like they are happier being alone, they try to act strong yet they become the nuisance, then they result to venting, stalking you physically and on all social media platforms, they try hard to tarnish your image and pull you down. I have a friend who left her man in 2017 because of his insecurities and trust issues, although he loved her but sometimes love is just not enough. After the breakup my friend moved on with her life and became more cheerful. The guy on the other hand wasn’t pleased with the breakup , he went on social media uploaded her picture with horrible caption, he didn’t just stop there, he made it a thing of joy to always upload horrific write up about her, he told anybody who cares to listen lies about her and of course some would always believe. She had no choice than cutting off with so many people who might be a link between both of them,she also blocked him on all social media platforms and blacklisted his number. Did this help? No! He sent series of text messages with unknown numbers threatening and laying curses. He came back, apologizes and said they should be friends. But did the friendship work? Hell no he was filled with hate and couldn’t even pretend to be a friend, so they became great enemies. It is so funny how one minute people are lovers and best friends and the next minute enemies.A relationship is never a do or die affair, so we should always cultivate the habit of moving on and letting it go. Should a breakup turn you guys to enemies? I have no answer to this, knowing fully well friendship is not a thing of force but then never try to hurt the other party because things didn’t go your way.
How do we heal from a terrible breakup?

  1. –The first step into healing after a terrible breakup is forgiveness, forgive your ex, accept the fact that somethings are not just meant to be. Feel some kindness towards your ex by remembering all the good times you both spent together.
  2. Secondly understand that it is never your fault and you deserve better and you will definitely get someone better.
  3. Change your environment and everything that gives you bad memories of the relationship which includes gifts from your ex, you should delete your ex pictures and text messages if that makes you uncomfortable. Changing your environment doesn’t really mean moving to a different city, you can change your hangout spot, your coffee joint, your usually route etc. so as not to always see your ex.
  4. Make new friends, you need to surround yourself with your loves ones.
  5. Listen to good musics and watch exciting movies.
  6. Work more on yourself, take care of your body, hit the gym, go for medical checkup, go to the spa, go for shopping, vacation, eat some pizza lol, be happy and dress more attractive.
  7. Learn a new skill/ develop your passion, It’s advisable to turn your pains into something meaningful, you can a write a story about yourself, paint, make sculptures, photography, fashion, sing …
  8. Identify the difference between grief and depression, there is a thin line between grief and depression. Grief is expected after a breakup but when an individual becomes bitter, sad and unexciting then depression is setting in. You must look for help, I repeat look for help as quick as possible, go for counselling, surround yourself with love ones and tell them your worries.
  9. Lastly get closer to God, he alone brings inner peace and understand this: what is yours will never miss you.

There is always hope no matter the situation, you are an overcomer and you will always overcome if only you are willing and ready to.

Rape

Rape is a very sensitive issue and shouldn’t be handled with frivolity because having your innocence stripped from you is horrifying and scary. So now what do we do when a victim voice out? victim who tear up pages of the past to unveil her/his scare, victims who fight inner battles of depression, victims who fight the feeling of shame and low self-esteem, victims filled with hate against themselves and humanity! Tell me why do we go about bashing them, like it’s their fault, I tell you this, a rape victim never had an option because “no” was never an option, it is either ‘’yes’’ or ‘’ yes’’.
What about incest rape, the painful part of this rape case is that, the one who is supposed to protect and keep the child safe from hurt is same person brutally molesting, violating and stealing the sweet virtues of the child. Such wickedness, it happens often but it is rarely spoken about by victims due to the fear and shame associated to such confession. Now who can a child trust? When their trust is being betrayed by their parent, siblings or close relative.
Rape in general is an evil which should not be tolerated by the society. Victims should be encouraged to speak out, tell their stories and get the help and justice they deserve. Victims should be loved and cared for, they should be constantly reminded that the painful incident doesn’t define who they are.
Like a popular saying goes “in order to cure a disease you must treat it root. Rape has a lot of implications to the victim and I will talk a little on abortion, our society is against abortion, but you wouldn’t totally blame or judge a rape victim who opt for such as a way of healing and cleansing herself from all which was deposited in her by the rapist. Unsafe Abortion have claim the lives of so many young girls who are only trying to survive. In order to reduce/stop the rate of unsafe abortion in the society where abortion is legally restricted, I think the issue of rape must be tackled.
And we should always remember that we make up the society and in every comment we make when a sensitive topic like a rape is being discussed we either help victims speak up or promote rapists to continue the act, which ever we choose to do we shouldn’t forget we have children, sisters friends, wives, brothers and ourselves.

Depression

They say lets fight Depression! You can always talk to me and I’m like isn’t that your black maybach s650 parked outside? You smell nice, let me guess chanel grand extract right? Oh my Lord those shoes, this must be Cinderella slipper, wow ! And it goes perfectly with the shinning chanel diamond forever handbag, isn’t that rado wrist watch? My point exactly: It’s not about telling people to talk to you but how well you can listen to them without rubbing your success all over their faces.

  • Can you listen to your friend lamenting about her failed marriage without you telling her how perfect yours is?
  • Can you listen to a colleague of yours who just lost her job without you telling her about your promotion?
  • He said he mortgage his house and you are telling him about your million dollar Grant?
  • He said he just got swindled and you are here boasting about your smartness?

DO WE REALLY HELP THOSE WHO CONFIDE IN US OR DO WE AGGRAVATE THEIR SUFFERINGS?

And here come the DEEMERS, The ones with misleading wigs, robes and sashes, judging your life, your mistake and your inadequacy. They look at you with scepticism in their eyes, thinking maybe it’s all your fault. To the ultimate question:

  • HOW DO WE HELP THE DEPRESSED?

APPRECIATION

#doctors, #nurses, #goodpeople, #blessings

The beauty of being in the medical line goes beyond the financial benefits as most people think, the satisfaction of seeing an anxious person get calm, a teary eye dry up, a hot body cool down because of what you did, the beauty of a delivery, the transformation in dying and death, more like being Angels on earth, when you practice sincerely with the fear of God, the reward is beyond salary and allowances… You are all appreciated…..

how true is feminism

You call yourself a feminist yet u watch your fellow women suffer, you call yourself a feminist yet you traffic little girls for money, you call yourself a feminist yet you abuse little girls who work for you all in the name of having a MAID , you do same with old women then call them NANNIES. You call yourself a feminist yet you are filled with jealousy , bitterness and hatred. You dont want to see the progress of your fellow woman. You are nothing but a confuse Being who lack the thinking ability to carry out her responsibilities but I AM just wondering how true is feminism?