Share your thoughts. Should people still stick to relationships and marriages even when they are not happy anymore? What do you think about separation?
Author: Rahimat Suleiman
Rahimat has a passion for community development as she believes that sustainable development is only possible when community members collectively take action in solving social issues. She advocates for gender equality and a peaceful and tolerable world.
She has been actively working to promote sexual and reproductive health and to influence social change critical to ending Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and all forms of gender injustice in Nigeria. She aims for an open society where everyone, irrespective of social class, gender identity and sexual orientation or HIV status would be treated equally
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Rahimasuleiman 
Life is hard after 37 years with my husband, as I am his 24/7 caregiver, but we will stick together no matter what happens
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This is a difficult one to respond too. Courtship should be the precursor to marriage. During this time many questions and answers become very clear but do we look at them or shrug them off as “I can live with that”. But should the dating period not make those questions come up and then you get married the situation changes significantly. Marriage in my eyes is about commitment which is very different from feelings. Commitment doesn’t change, feelings do. If you loved each other enough to get married after a period of courtship then stick it out. It ain’t easy but then again anything worthwhile in life ain’t easy. Relationships are work but to us, they are worth every signal minute of hardship. Then again there are many, many caveats to my thoughts not knowing the whole.
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In a case of domestic violence would you suggest divorce
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This a topic so real, so significant and one that my heart feels deeply for. Physical and emotional abuse are never acceptable behaviors. Boundaries must be established immediately. If abuse of this nature is occurring by all means you must protect yourself by removing yourself from the situation. As for divorce, much must be considered very carefully. From the first occurrence the boundry must be set with “if it occurs again” I will need to remove myself from your presence. The mate now has been given the boundry. If it occurs a 2nd time, leave. After you are out of the situation contact the mate and let him know that you had made it clear the first time that it would not be tolerated. Then advise the mate that before you can return the person must seek help. If the person does not or will not seek help the answer to your question is clear. Violence in ANY relationship must not to be tolerated.
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Thanx for your lovely comment. So helpful
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You are most welcome. We are truly with you. We all go through a lot in life and sometimes the way is cloudy but friends look our for each other.
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IMHO, I believe you should find out WHY you’re not happy. Maybe discussing it with your mate will lead to a positive resolution and a more fulfilling marriage.
If that can’t or won’t happen, and amiable divorce is best. Staying together leads to bitterness and could negatively impact any children and their view of marriage.
I do NOT believe in marriage for the sake of marriage. I do agree that it is a sacred union, but only as long as the TWO people involved see it and value it as such. No one else’s opinion matters.
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Nice opinion
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I think that if you’re not happy with each other, you should separate, but in a civil way. If you have children you need to consider them. Consider the whole family too.
Find someone who makes you happy, but don’t make your ex feel horrible.
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